Tuesday, April 19, 2005

"Here's a pound son" "Uh...no it's alright, i'm not homeless"

Hey kids, my name's Justin, but you can call me Swane.

So today I was talking to an ex girlfriend of mine and she said that she had to do a charity run a coupla days after her birthday and that got me thinking. Aren't all sponsered events just a way of tricking people into giving to charity? I mean it's like going up to one of your friends and saying "hey man, there are fucking millions of people getting fucked up each year, so why not stop being such a selfish motherfucker and give them some spare change?" and your friend saying "well, why should I?" and you saying "well if you do then i'll do some stupid shit like run 10 miles or something". It's not exactly charity if you have to be conned into it is it? I know this sounds stupid, as of course sponsered events are a good idea, but isn't it fucking depressing that people don't just say "10 miles? fucking hell man i won't make you do that, here's £20, and i'll put another £20 in the post. 10 miles! You are one crazy motherfucker". Or something like that perhaps with less swearing if it's an old bastard you're talking to.

It's like when the big issue salesman asks if he can keep the magazine after you've just bought it off him and you feel like he's a skank. Why didn't you just give him the money to start with? It's not like there aren't a million other magazines for you to read for free out there. Making homeless people work for there money is pretty much the stupidest thing I've ever heard. How are they meant to get out of mad poverty if they have to work to survive within it.

Man, this is making me sound like some sorta hippy bitch. Well the thing is that I have been mistaken for a homeless person more than once so i sorta feel an afinity for down and outs. Like those poor motherfucking Millers in Eastenders. Or Homer's brother once Homer has bankrupted him. Thanks to him I'll never forget that discarded pizza boxes are an indispensable source of cheese.

I gotta go, it's beer o'clock



Blogger SkunkE said...

First of all you are a skank, so don't try to deny that. The second thing you gotta remember is the money people are giving away has in fact already been earned, taxed and in a lot of cases already spent (Credit cards are a bitch man). I'm not saying charity is a bad thing, no not at all. It’s good to know that there are people out there who care about others enough to give away their next beer hit. As for thinking big issue sellers are skanks when they ask for the mag back after they have sold it to you, i guess i have to agree with you, they are doing a public service, no one wants to read that shit, let alone carry it around. I believe most of us would rather give the quid away without having to accept the world’s worst produced toilet paper, especially if the homeless guy has already used it.

5:38 PM  
Blogger emma said...

not all people only give to charity when there are sponsored events, justin. the events just remind people to give a bit once in a while. and if i just said to you "justin, can i have a fiver, i'm going to give it to charity" you would say no. whereas if i asked you to sponsor me, well, you'd still say no, but more people would say yes.

1:26 PM  
Blogger emma said...

i remember you writing to me about that man who thought you were a tramp. that was sad.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Justin said...

I'm not a skank you bastard, i'm poor; there is a whole world of difference. Being a skank is not giving to people when their lives depend upon it because you feel you need to keep your money to blow on some random crap.
And yes, if you asked me to give you a fiver so you could give it to charity I would say no because I would think you were lying.

3:34 PM  
Blogger SkunkE said...


12:10 PM  
Blogger tom inwood said...

Running 10 miles is just exercise/sport really. Just because you have no involvement in the world of running, doesn't mean it's pointless. If the general public considered watching neighbours a commendable or challenging activity then maybe you could make money for others while doing it ;)

12:28 PM  
Blogger James White said...

Sort as a pound bruvvvner! Ahhhh bait!

12:48 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

Got a spare browns bruv?

2:00 PM  

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