Runnin' around robbin' banks
So it was my birthday this weekend and I turned 23. Isn’t that fucking excitng? No? I didn’t think so. It’s all kind of a blur after 21 I suppose til you hit like 30 and start realising that you don’t actually feel old, but that you are actually an old bastard. Anyway, it got me thinking in a weird kinda way about coincidences. Or perhaps signs. You see I turned 23 this year. And 2 + 3 is 5. And it’s the year 2005 And next year I’ll be 24. And 2 + 4 is 6. And it’ll be 2006. Or in 2015 I’ll turn 33, and, you guessed it 3 + 3 is 6 as is 1 + 5.
It seems like I shouldn’t have been sober when I had this revelation but I wasn’t. It’s a shame really as if I had been in any sorta altered state of mind I would probably have found some sort of cosmic significance in the relation between my age group and the 3rd millennium AD. Hmm. It coulda been just like that time I realised that 4 to the power of 4 is 256. I was freaked out that day, but in retrospect, there was very little reason why.
In an entirely unrelated note, I read today that if you eat a little bit of lettuce than it makes you sleepy, but if you eat a lot than it has erotically stimulating effects. That’s pretty goddamn freaky. I mean lettuce as an erotic vegetable? If it is a vegetable that is. I’ve had a strange kind of love for those leafy bastards ever since I lost the power of taste due to excessive smoking a few years back, and realised that without any flavour in my life, lettuce was the best thing to eat. It crackles on your tongue. Yum yum! It is pretty shit if you can taste it though. Imagine eating a whole lettuce like an apple. I doubt it would be an especially satisfying experience.
On another unrelated note, I was in the toilet taking a piss when a guy called out behind me “Hey is that a Fun Loving Criminals t-shirt?”. I was wearing my lucky t-shirt which is FLC based so he was talking to me. I was a bit freaked out as I obviously couldn’t turn around to check who was trying to get my attention. I worried needlessly though as it seems as the guy simply wanted to tell me that his wife used to know them and that Steve, the old drummer, had left the band because he was fleeing the law due to his persistent harassment of members of an all ladies gym up north. I was always told that it was because he was the get away driver in a bank robbery. But as my main man Fred said, “Either way, he’s still a Fun Loving Criminal”. Damn straight.
It seems like I shouldn’t have been sober when I had this revelation but I wasn’t. It’s a shame really as if I had been in any sorta altered state of mind I would probably have found some sort of cosmic significance in the relation between my age group and the 3rd millennium AD. Hmm. It coulda been just like that time I realised that 4 to the power of 4 is 256. I was freaked out that day, but in retrospect, there was very little reason why.
In an entirely unrelated note, I read today that if you eat a little bit of lettuce than it makes you sleepy, but if you eat a lot than it has erotically stimulating effects. That’s pretty goddamn freaky. I mean lettuce as an erotic vegetable? If it is a vegetable that is. I’ve had a strange kind of love for those leafy bastards ever since I lost the power of taste due to excessive smoking a few years back, and realised that without any flavour in my life, lettuce was the best thing to eat. It crackles on your tongue. Yum yum! It is pretty shit if you can taste it though. Imagine eating a whole lettuce like an apple. I doubt it would be an especially satisfying experience.
On another unrelated note, I was in the toilet taking a piss when a guy called out behind me “Hey is that a Fun Loving Criminals t-shirt?”. I was wearing my lucky t-shirt which is FLC based so he was talking to me. I was a bit freaked out as I obviously couldn’t turn around to check who was trying to get my attention. I worried needlessly though as it seems as the guy simply wanted to tell me that his wife used to know them and that Steve, the old drummer, had left the band because he was fleeing the law due to his persistent harassment of members of an all ladies gym up north. I was always told that it was because he was the get away driver in a bank robbery. But as my main man Fred said, “Either way, he’s still a Fun Loving Criminal”. Damn straight.
posted by Justin at 2:56 PM
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Huey is my hero
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