Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Both are equally valid and scary

I don’t think; I do. I don’t tell; I state. I don’t eat; I consume. I don’t complain; I vent. I don’t like; I enjoy. I don’t stop; I pause. I don’t rest; I recover. I don’t move; I go. I don’t believe; I know. I don’t fear; I prepare. I don’t vote; I choose. I don’t live; I am alive.

I don’t do; I think. I don’t state; I tell. I don’t consume; I eat. I don’t vent; I complain. I don’t enjoy; I like. I don’t pause; I stop. I don’t recover; I rest. I don’t go; I move. I don’t know; I believe. I don’t prepare; I fear. I don’t choose; I vote. I’m not alive, but I live.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Happy Financial New Year!

I don’t know about you but I was fucking shit faced last night. Me and my accountant tore up the town financial style and it was fucking messier than my tax return. I don’t think I’ve ever drunk that many cocktails out of a shredder before, or eaten that much cake out of a ringbinder! And at midnight when we all held our calculators in the sky for 15% of a minute I never felt so united with numbers. Of course the old recession almost stole the heart out of the whole event as there were many people about trying to console their accountants over some deep fried hole-punch dots but once the bartender got out the economic cycle everything got back on track. If you’ve never done it, you’re really missing out – it’s basically an exercise bike attached to some pulleys on which you drink a shot every quarter (of what, who knows!) which keeps getting higher and higher off the ground until you "peak"' and fall off onto a crash mat. Everyone jeers with cries of "trough! trough!" when it happens and it appears to be the most self-loathing fun any accountant can have. We had a whale of time trying to balance on the giant balance sheet too and don’t even ask about the depreciation booth – some people are just into sick shit. Unfortunately Bankers turned up about 2am all yinged out of their faces, but luckily for us the FSA boys all kicked off just as they were getting in and they all got booted together. Good old FSA, always kicking ass and taking names.

All in all was a great night. Happy 09-10!